Ways to Survive a Loss By Death

When a Loved One Dies, the Bereaved Undergoes a Healing Process

© Tel Asiado

Oct 24, 2007
Surviving a Loved One's Loss, Tel Asiado
Grief over the deceased is considered the most painful of human emotions due to its finality. The bereaved begins a process to cope and survive.

Here are ways to facilitate and survive during the healing process.

Recognize the Loss

Expect to be in shock for a while. You may struggle to believe that the loss could have happened to you. You may wonder if you are strong enough to bear such a loss. It has happened. It is real. Recognize that a loss has taken place.

Accept the Pain

You're hurting. To feel pain after a loss is normal, a sign that you are able to respond to life's experiences. Although you may find yourself frightened by it, be with your pain. It is important in the healing process that you experience the desolation and feel the hurt. Don't deny it. Be with it. Accept it…and hurt.

Give Yourself a Break

Your self-esteem may have suffered a jolt, and your thoughts may be full of guilt, anger, pain and hurt. These thoughts are symptoms of the stress you are going through. Don't punish yourself with any thought that begins with "If only." Your task is to make your journey from your loss to eventual gain as smooth and comfortable as possible.

Give Yourself Time to Heal

The healing process takes time. The greater the loss, the more time it will take to heal. In the speed and immediacy of modern life, we are not accustomed to giving ourselves time. You require time to heal. Give yourself the luxury of healing time.

Be Aware that the Healing Process Has its Progressions and Regressions

The process of healing is not the smooth progression many people assume. It has full of progressions and regressions, dramatic leaps and depressing backslides. Just when you think you did well yesterday, you hear a song that reminds you of your loved one and you're off balance again. Accept this 'roller coaster' and keep in mind that the healing process will come and is under way.

Get Enough Rest Yet Keep to a Schedule

Include rest in your schedule as much as you need, but don't be lazy. While your internal world is chaotic, keep your external activities in place. But do only as much as is comfortable. A balance of rest and productive work will help rest your emotions. The most efficient healing takes place when sufficient rest and dynamic activity are alternated.

Eat Nutritious Food

Be healthy with your food even if you have small appetite. In some cases, the reverse may be true with eating excessively to fill a void. Go slow with junk food, alcohol or caffeinated drinks.

Plan Activities During these Difficult Times

  • Weekends
  • Saturday nights
  • Holidays
  • Early mornings or twilights
  • Days of special meanings such as birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc.

Try to avoid being alone during these difficult times. Plan and schedule activities that you find particularly comforting.

Avoid Making Major Decisions

Expect your judgment to be clouded these days, therefore, keep major decisions to a minimum or postpone them if possible, at least for a while. Friends and family can make minor decisions for you, if you feel comfortable with it. Enough change has taken place already, that's why you're hurting.

Welcome Offers of Comfort

It's okay to need comfort. Accept understanding and support from friends, family and coworkers. If they care, they will help. An emotional wound is real, disabling and painful. In addition to friends and family, you may bring other living things into your life-space:

  • new plant
  • puppy
  • kitty
  • new coffee mates
  • goldfish

Feel free to seek the help of a professional, if you need to. Check the telephone book under "Social Services" or "Welfare Organizations."

Let the healing process happen and trust that you will survive.

Related articles


The copyright of the article Ways to Survive a Loss By Death in Depression is owned by Tel Asiado. Permission to republish Ways to Survive a Loss By Death in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.


Surviving a Loved One's Loss, Tel Asiado
       


Post this Article to facebook Add this Article to del.icio.us! Digg this Article furl this Article Add this Article to Reddit Add this Article to Technorati Add this Article to Newsvine Add this Article to Windows Live Add this Article to Yahoo Add this Article to StumbleUpon Add this Article to BlinkLists Add this Article to Spurl Add this Article to Google Add this Article to Ask Add this Article to Squidoo

Comments
May 14, 2008 3:17 PM
Guest :
It is six months since my husband passed away from cancer. It still hurts every day. I try to do many positive activities with friends and staff. I have read many grief books and gone to healing seminars. But still the pain is deep within.

Susan
Sep 4, 2008 12:40 PM
Guest :
My 15 yr old dog died in my arms. I suffered a mild stroke from the stress. I had gall bladder surgery 10 days later. The worst was to come. My mom, my best friend and hero was diagnosed with cancer and died. This all took place in a six week time frame. My mom was going to retire in September. She had no symptoms. I'm in total shock. I can't believe I'll not see her or talk to her anymore for the rest of my life. I miss her terribly. The grief is unbearable. I'm trying therapy, prayer, medicine so far to no avail. I don't know how to live without her. Everything she worked so hard for in her life sits in my house. She was such a loving person. She gave to others and charged food for herself on her credit card. I can't understand why she had to die. Just 3 months and she could have retired and started enjoying life. She was looking so forward to not working and just loving life and her animals. She loved life and valued every living creature, even bugs. I don't understand. My brain is just not accepting that she's gone. She always said she admired my cheerleader type faith. I don't even feel that anymore. This is just so unbelievable. How do you find happiness ever again? Now everything to me is so sad. I want so bad to be happy and let my light shine again to honor her love thru me, but it just isn't happening. Now my health is going down and I've got to get better to take care of my family. I have a wonderful support group. Nothing seems to help. My mom died May 21, 2008. I wouldn't wish this deep grief and pain on anyone. It's horrible !!!

Sherry
2 Comments